Goldfish crackers are DANGEROUS. They’re dangerously addictive, the box can be used as a weapon, and they can land you in jail.
A 29-year-old man in Florida named Michael “Gizmo” Gonzalez was at a Family Dollar a while back, and he walked out with $50 worth of cleaning supplies and a box of Goldfish crackers.
The manager was a BRAVE 65-year-old woman named Diane. She saw him leave without paying, and confronted him in the parking lot.
There was an argument, and Gizmo hit Diane in the face with the box of Goldfish, “causing a small cut under her lip.”
He got away, but apparently he left the Goldfish at the scene, because the cops did a forensic analysis, lifted some prints from the box, and determined that Gizmo was the robber.
Gizmo was already in the system because he has a long rap-sheet. They arrested him for felony strong arm robbery. The altercation was also caught on a surveillance camera, and cops say he admitted that it was him.
It’s unclear what flavor of Goldfish it was.
(Here’s Gizmo’s mugshot.)
